The Breast Way to Go

John Webster (JW): When James Fenwick drove off, you remember, we had a story like this here in Cleveland, but this is another one. James Fenwick drove off the road, smashed a telephone pole. Police arrested him for being drunk. Fenwick said he was trying to drive a buddy who was even drunker home. Despite the fact that he doesn't have a license because he is blind...

Jimmy Malone (JM): (laughing) How could that happen again?

John Lanigan (JL): We had a similar story, I think this is a new episode of it. This is like that, okay. Here's a husband who weighed 112 pounds and his wife weighed 350 pounds. She had huge breasts. He loved her breasts.

JW: Good for him.

JL: He loved them alot. He liked to have her show them off to friends...look at my wife's mammoth mammories, look at these big boobs, isn't this wonderful...so they're doing it, they're making love and she suffers a fatal heart attack while she's on top of him...

JW: On top of him...

JL: She's on top of him, 350 pounds of boobs on top of him, she has a heart attack, falls forward with one breast in each face, I mean, here's boobs right in his mouth, both breasts are on his face. She's 350 pounds of dead weight on top of a 100 pound man...

JW: Well, how's the 100 pound man, John?

JL: He's dead. He suffocated. He struggled, they said, fiercely, to climb out...

JW: I'll bet...

JL: You could see him going, clawing at the breasts, get these things off of me...He couldn't get them off of him, they found him, and her, both dead, in their apartment. Actually, friends called because they didn't make it to a wedding and they never responded, so they sent police over.

JW: Holy cow.

JL: They found them both dead. With her naked on top of him. And her breasts all over his face.

JM: Actually, it wasn't until the autopsy that they realized they had two people there. They just thought, we have a (laughter) heart attack victim here, then they separated them and said hey, look what's in there!

JW: They always say, be careful what you pray for, can you imagine, this guy's probably prayed to die that way...

JL: Oh, I love these, I would die for these breasts. And you did!

JM: Hey, she's wearing a necklace. Oh, wait a minute, that's her husband...

JL: I bet it took them hours to get that smile off his face. I bet he died with a smile on his face.

JW: She might have been, too.

JL: Great big breasts, two of them, right on your face, and you suffocate.

JM: For a while, he probably didn't feel like, it was not a problem. He's saying, she's dead, but I'm still having fun...

JL: I got the breasts, they're mine now... JM: And then it hit him, wait a minute...

JL: She weighs 350 pounds, I can't move, I can't breathe, and they're both dead. (laughter)


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