John Lanigan (JL): Hu Yu May??? You may me...

JW: Decided to end it all. She jumped out of a 12th floor window...

JL: Hu Yu May jumping out of a 12th floor window...

JW: Amazingly, she survived...

JL: Oh, Hu Yu May lived...

JW: Oh, well, she did live and as soon as she was able, why she was arrested and thrown in jail and charged with manslaughter...it seems she landed on a sidewalk food vendor and killed him...(laughter)

JL: Hu Yu May hit me...

JW: Now, she's going to get two years in jail. Additionally, several residents have retained an attorney to sue her for damages. They say they have lost the best source of cheap fast food in the neighborhood.

JL: Oh no, he gone, that's too bad...

JW: So to add insult to injury...

JL: Oh, how awful. I mean, she didn't plan to do that, it was an accident, she was trying to kill herself, right?

JW: She should have yelled or something...

JL: Hey......

JW: I'm coming down........

JL: Who? No, no, Hu Yu May....

JW: Splat...

JL: Killed him, huh...

JW: Eggrolls all over the sidewalk...

JL: Oh, how awful....Okay, man robs bank to pay for pizza. In Germany, when unemployed laborer Kurt Piper, 23, realized he didn't have enough money to pay for a $19 pizzeria tab, left a friend seated at the table and he went out and robbed a bank...

Jimmy Malone(JM): Oh, you couldn't have bummed the money from your friend...

JL: Of course not, I don't have enough money for this, could you hold on a second, I'll be right back... Piper, who had no criminal, prior criminal record, returned to the eatery with $1,223 that he had just stolen and was preparing to pay his check when the police closed in and arrested him. "When I found out I was too broke to pay up, I just panicked," he said. "I don't know why I did it, I just panicked. I didn't have any money. I'm sorry." So he went over next door and he robbed a bank and he came back and he had the money. A responsible thing to do, as opposed to running out on that check, which some people might have done, this man at least went out and tried to get the money to pay the check...

JM: And he had enough left over for a nice tip and then some, you know, cause he got, what, 1200 bucks?

JL: See, you know, what I don't get is, the guy doesn't have any money, he orders a pizza, it's a $19 charge, and he decides it's better to rob a bank than to run out on that bill.

JM: That's why we call it Knuckleheads in the News...(laughter)

JM: In Toronto, Canada, an anti-smoking fanatic attacked a man in the lobby of her apartment building. causing grievous bodily harm. Mrs. Janice Fudge, 45, assaulted John Turcoat (sp), 64, when she saw him lighting up in the foyer. Prosecution council said seconds later, Mrs. Fudge began shouting "cigarettes can damage your health, here's how" and then hit him over the head with a copper pot...

JL: That'll do it. That damaged your health, didn't it bozo.

JM: She pulled off his shirt and then stabbed him repeatedly with a carving knife...

JL: Hold it, that's not a cigarette...

JM: As police dragged her to the patrol car, Mrs. Fudge turned to the gathered press and reporters and screamed, "I was a forty a day person, I've done very well without cigarettes, do I look tense?" (laughter)

JW: Here, have a cigarette...

JL: You may look tense, but I'm not gonna tell ya...I'm not going to bring it up...